The Elements

...I live in Reston, a beautiful, scenic community. However, with the recent housing slump we've had all sorts of "elements" move into my new building to "rent". The Elements are all shapes, sizes and colors. Yesterday the one of the Element Clan decided to leave an entire piece of furniture booby-trapped in front on the trash door, and upon my opening the door to dispose of my trash, a huge piece of wood came sliding down like a ancient, barbaric, unsharpended guillentine. There I was with a hurt shoulder and toe from other debris that followed it's path. It barely missed my tummy (and I have a baby inside there) so I was enraged! So I wrote an open letter to the Elements in my building, it read as follows:

Dear Element(s):

Whoever the JACKASS was that left the huge piece of furniture and a broken wooded bed frame lodged up against the door you'll be happy to know that I damn near lost my entire shoulder trying to dispose of my trash. You inconsiderate @#$# please dispose of your trash properly, this type of trash is not suppose to be disposed in this method. Thank you!