Monday, March 24, 2008

The Avenue




Club Review – The Avenue – Never Again.

Fashion in DC is dead.

I know my earlier post about Gossiping spoke against gossiping and what not but....I just have to tell you about this weekend....

So, many, many times I find myself in a state of confusion, just wondering how people deemed less attractive by society get through each day… how they avoid criticism, and the meanness in the world. I ponder on very profound theoretic conclusions at times even.... I've come to this fact for sure....some folks bring it on themselves.

This weekend I was at “The Avenue” (yet another BAD club in DC), GASP…don’t ask!!! Anyway, it was awful, my husband and I were trying to be hospitable to a friend visiting and we don’t frequent clubs often so we had no clue where to go. So, we ended up at this spot the Avenue…where fashion was just well in the toilet….flushed, in the gutter….molding.

Firstly, there is a way to always look good, no matter what your size, shape, face, there is ALWAYS as way to jazz yourself up, which brings me to my question of the evening, WHY DO FRIENDS LET FRIENDS OUT THE HOUSE when they look like a HOT, STEAMY, SMOKEY, MANGLED MESS? I know that all my best friends would tell me if I looked crazy. I do NOT surround myself around friends who sugar coat just to help me get through; I don’t consider folks like that friends….humph! Case in point, when in college I really thought that a part down the middle of my head was cute with a long side piece hanging on one side…..shon quickly corrected my erroneous ways and proceeded to fix my muff up…thanks girl…wouldn’t know what to do with out you….anyway where are these folks real friends? I saw a circus in the club this weekend.

Ok so, I’m in line…..and up rolls the “The Fantanas”. Now as I’m sure you guys all know, LOUD colors are in….apparently, not in my world but these young kids are wearing EXACTLY what they see in videos. Now I didn’t take pics and I NEVER will, in fact I think that it is so tacky…. but I am descriptive enough with my writing that I can help you visualize the disaster….I think. Ok so contestant number one rolls up with a fiery, red leotard…..yes ladies leotard, wait no… the leotard was yellow, like Frency’s mustard yellow, a FULL-BODY, open-toed, yellow leotard, with jelly shoes, and fire engine red vest……that was her complete outfit, she weighed all of 5 lbs. Now mind you, DC was cold as the South Pole this weekend, windy and eurrrythang… anyway this is what this sweet baby had on. In addition to that, let’s discuss the remainder of the entourage; actually we will only discuss one, because I was so flabbergasted by the first display of ketchup and mustard that the rest are just hard to talk about. So the second member of The Fantanas had on a pink flamingo colored onesie, with once again jellys…clear ones. This was the absolute worst display of DC fashion ever. I must admit, back in 2004 I would have agreed that he majority of women in DC were fabu dressers although I am not a fashionista by any means, in fact I despise over the top fashion divas….I think they are fake, couture wannabee, reject model, weave wearing trolls, but that’s another subject altogether. Nonetheless the sistahs of 2004 DC could dress, however….HOWEVER DC 2008 has officially been flushed down the toilet folks. The night got worst. Remember this was just in the line leading into the club. So we brace ourselves for the inside, why we continued our journey….is still a mystery. What I saw when I walked in was a complete display of buffoonery and out right fashion emergencies. We saw Coogi clothing, short ties, guys with lamb furr inside their sweaters, a buffet in the club, people eating and dancing while balancing plates, a girl in a full jet black fishnet onesie, clearly she belonged in the movie BELLY in the Kingston scene. This was only the first floor (dancehall music of course – and yall know I love me some reggae but got DAMN (in my cousin Tory’s infamous voice). So we went to the second floor, people were packed like sardines, (HIP HOP of course). Anyway, Jim Jones rejects were everywhere. REJECTS I tell ya! The walls were plastered with tired dreads, five month old cornrows, just unkempt hair period…..gold teeth, it was a complete disaster, the third floor is not even worth words….anyway, for anyone looking to go to “The Avenue”, please don’t bother. This was a sad, sad display of folks. I’m going to give “The Avenue” on Mar 20th, 2008 ten thumbs down……. ZILCH.

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3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

WEBSTERS..

HOTGHETTOMESS adj.= THE AVENUE

:-0



phynxsun

March 24, 2008 at 11:05 AM  
Blogger Tiff said...

for sure!!! It was HORRIBLE

March 24, 2008 at 11:38 AM  
Anonymous Melody said...

You write very well.

November 10, 2008 at 9:44 PM  

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